#1: Setting up house too quickly

Love lessons: It’s extremely common for couples to become very besotted, very quickly. The problem is, for the first three to 18 months of most relationships, people have their loved-up glasses on and can’t make practical, sensible decisions. They think moving in together after two weeks is a brilliant idea, as is buying a house full of yellow IKEA furniture!

“When we first meet, we are influenced by our need to hold onto that someone special,” says relationship psychologist Colleen Gray. “We don’t make time for the important conversations about what each other really want.” So what can you do? Make a different commitment, like exchanging promise rings or holidaying together to test the waters first.

Also map out your ideas for the future to make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to things like family, career, travel and money. It may sound scary, but it’s better to know now than later. 

#2: Making comparisons

Love lessons: There’s an old saying that, when we meet someone, we meet the people and experiences who have come before them. Dealing with exes, friends and family is just reality and we all need to be strong enough to handle that. “Everyone’s relationship is different and making comparisons is pointless,” says Gray.
“The binding glue of any relationship is friendship, interest, affection and enjoyment,” she adds. “You really have to focus on these four things and on the other person if you’re going to make your union work.” As they say, if the grass is always greener on other side of fence, water your own lawn!

#3: Spending 24/7 in each other’s pockets

Love lessons: Spending every minute of every day with someone is like indulging in good chocolate, fine wine and rich food – there’s only so much you can have at one time. After a while your appetite changes and you want to taste something different. “Human beings need space to think, take time out, do what they like doing, and recharge their batteries away from other’s expectations and demands,” says Gray. “Couples who work together in business usually say they just simply tire of the same conversations and have no respite from each other’s irritations.”

It’s flattering when someone wants to be with you all the time but giving your sole attention to anything isn’t healthy, so ensure you schedule time-out to get in touch with yourself and the rest of your life.